Empathic listening

a short example of what it looks like

Caller: I don’t know. I’ve just been feeling really weird lately. Like, everything is good on from the point of view of others, but I’m just totally checked out.

Listener: It sounds like you’re feeling a bit disconnected, even though there’s no obvious reason for it. That can be a really unsettling place to be.

Caller: Exactly! It’s frustrating because I should be happy. I got the promotion, my relationship is good, but I just feel this heavy numbness. Then I start feeling guilty for even feeling this way, which just makes it feel worse.

Listener: So, it’s not just that you’re feeling this heavy, numb sensation, but you’re also beating yourself up for feeling it because you think you "should" be happy. It makes total sense that you’re exhausted if you’re carrying both the numbness and the guilt.

Caller: Yes, that’s it. It’s the guilt. I feel like I'm being ungrateful. Like I’m failing at appreciating my own life.

Listener: What do you think that guilt is trying to tell you right now?

Caller: I think it’s trying to tell me that I shouldn't be complaining. But when I actually stop and think about it... the promotion means that I’m going to be working 60 hours a week. And I’m exhausted. I guess the "numbness" isn't me being ungrateful... I think I’m just completely burnt out.

Listener: Wow. So, looking at it closer, it’s not that you’re ungrateful towards your life—it’s that you’ve been running on an empty tank for weeks, and your mind is just forcing you to shut down to give yourself a break.

Caller: Yeah. Wow, saying that out loud... I’m not ungrateful. I’m just tired. I really, really need a break. Thank you for just listening to me and help figure that out.